JEFF LIKES CHOCOLATE SAUSAGE

Today had the best laugh in ages as a fellow friend and colleague made the ultimate snafu…

Let me set the scenario…

It’s lunchtime and the queue for the canteen (can’t really say restaurant as there is little resemblance in food and/or service!).

Anyway it was sausage and mash today, choice of 3 sausages (Pork & Apple/Pork & Leek/Cumberland). You can have one of each of whatever you want, point to remember here is NEVER have the Cumberland's as they taste like Harpic cleaner!

Jeffers went for the non-cumberlands medley with mustard mash and peas, topped off by the very tasty onion gravy. No hang on, he’s picked up the wrong gravy boat… it’s chocolate sauce!

Brilliant, laughed my arse off! The miserable sod removed the evidence before I had a chance to take a shot, and for the record it didn’t go!

 

Jeff Loses The Plot

Friday is always pie day at Atlas House, chicken and mushroom this week. In an act of foolishness Jeffers decided to opt out and partake in a salad! His Welsh kindred turning in their graves!

So off he trotted to get said salad, whilst I continued with the pie quest. The pie God's were favourable this week giving me a middle bit! So here it is, and it was nice apart from being hotter than a McDonald's apple pie!

Then Jeffers rocks up with what I can only describe as the bit you scrape off the top of a kebab on a drunken night out.

Poxy Chesil Beach, A Ridiculous Venue That Does Not Live Upto Its Reputation

It had been a long time coming, but it was time to head off fishing for a full day again, and yet again Chesil Beach was the venue of choice.

We had discussed going down to the Chesil Cove end of the beach, but recent reports suggested otherwise. So we headed down to Chesil Beach Bait & Tackle, a new shop that has opened since the demise of Dennings.

To be fair he had a ton of stuff for sale in the shop, much more than Dennings. The bait was excellent, great quantity and size. So we got £24 quids worth of ragworm, and 3lb in unwashed squid and headed off to poxy Ferrybridges.

Now I friggin hate Ferrybridges and its ridiculous overpriced car park of £6.50 for more than 12 hours. Its a dusty shit pit in the middle of nowhere, how they can justify the cost is beyond me! It has toilets, but you hardly need to leave a tip when departing there for a splash of cologne! Infact it’s pretty lucky that you are wearing boots and fishing to save you from wading through all the piss.

The other thing I hate, is the stupid shingle beach! It is just a complete pain in the arse to trudge across this stuff to get to the fishing areas! Especially when you know the prospect of catching fuck all or 1 fish is the expected outcome.

With all that said we trudged across the bloody stones laden with rods/chairs/food and so forth to get to the top of the shingle bank, only to be greeted with something we hadn’t expected. A massive sea swell!

It was roasting hot, there was no wind… how could there be a massive swell!

Anyway the day commenced and Dave was the first to catch a dogfish, check out the video below.

Caught a doggie

 

Now Neilboy and DT always beat me to getting a rod in the water, but today he decided to do a bit of sun worshiping as seen below.

 

DT managed to catch a nice few fish, like the above specimen.

The sun began to settle, and DT and Neilboy were chewing the fat down at the waters edge.

Then the unthinkable, I caught a nice whiting! You can see my fish butler Neilboy holding it for me as I took the picture.

Then even more unbelievably Neilboy caught a fish and broke his fishing drought, look how happy he is to have caught the fish below.

The sea was very odd that day, massive waves and such. Certainly at night only a fool would have gone down to the waters edge! Infact one wave was so big it crashed in out of nowhere and then thundered in up the 20ft shingle bank in seconds, a stark reminder of how dangerous it can be on the Chesil Beach coastline.

So we wound up the night just after high tide with 1 a piece for me and Neilboy, and we believe 6 for DT (1 doggie and I think 5 whiting).

We headed back to the car park where the car had been valeted as part of the £6.50 fee only to realise that the car park was not accessible anymore without crossing a wide piece of seawater behind the shingle bank!

Dave waded straight in, but there was no chance me or Neilboy where doing the same as no bugger was sitting in my new Audi with wet clothes. So we had little choice but to remove the boots, the socks and the trousers to cross barefoot!

Well I followed Neilboy across the freezing and rocky sea bed only to veer off course and go up past the old nether regions, by god it was icy cold!

So now we are on the car park side with wet legs and feet, and dripping boxer shorts in my case also. I had no choice but to remove them.

Well just my luck as I did this a car drove in the car park (boy racers I think), with me and Neilboy behind a bush, one half naked, the other in boxer shorts! I couldn’t get my legs in my jogging bottoms as my feet were wet still. The harder I tried the worse it got, hopping around on the spot. Eventually I got them on and we headed away from that godforsaken shithole.

THIS WAS THE LAST VISIT TO FERRYBRIDGES THAT I WILL DO!

Audi A3–1900 Miles Later

Ok so now I have driven 1900 miles and a few more (in two weeks) I thought it was time to post my views on the old girl on my blog site as promised.

So as a car it is fantastic, it drives beautifully. It feels like it is glued to the road, out handling my old ‘08 plate Ford Mondeo by miles. Also as a bonus the dashboard hasn’t gone bonkers like the Mondeo did. But that said, the size difference between the two is instantly noticeable, the Mondeo was cavernous in comparison to the A3. I didn’t order the Audi for its size though, it was for the fun!

Everyone is interested in fuel economy these days and I left it a little too close to the bone on Friday to drive from Reading to Bristol on the tanks contents. So I had to drive more like the majority of people on the inside lane of the M4 Friday, with the occasional foray into the middle and outside lane. With an average cruising speed for 60 – 70mph I managed to get to the M4 junction for Bristol (J19) with an average MPG of 59.8 (see picture below for evidence).

 

Now that is impressive in my opinion!!

Ok so that’s the good points so far, now how about the negative…. well to be honest there aren’t that many, and at best they are just inconvenient more than massive issues.

The centre armrest that comes with the SLine stops you from putting the handbrake on and off easily. You have to lift it up in the air to get to the handbrake. Also underneath said armrest is a drinks holder, not for two, just for one. Again if you dare to put something in the receptacle you cant put the arm rest down.

You may have gathered by now my armrest is probably sky bound for the majority of the time!

The doors are very big on the car, making parking in a car park like Russian roulette, will it be dented or not when I return!

So I find myself going out of my way to park miles away from any other cars, so what is it that attracts other cars to mine when I do so, its so bloody annoying!

The iPod dock in the glove box is crap, I have had to stick a “wedge” under it to stop my iPod Touch from falling out. Even that doesn't stop the randomness of the “no audio” syndrome! For no apparent reason the audio disappears but the device is still playing and can see the iPod (see video below). So I have opted for MP3’s on CD instead, at least I get full track information that way (as you don't on the iPod dock connector!)

Listen to my iPod audio dont it sound good? Oops sorry you cant hear it because my car has an issue!

Mrs.Miggins Pie Shop

This lunchtime Jeffers and I partook in a light luncheon at the pie shop in Reading. Named Sweeney & Todd and located in Castle Street in Reading we whipped down the town on the free bus from TVP.

A shandy for me and a Becks for Jeffers, ordering a steak and ale for new and a Sweeneys Special for Jeffers, both with cauliflower cheese.

Here is Jeffers enjoying his fine fayre….

My pie (Steak and Ale) was equally as nice…

They were handsome! £6 for the pie, £2 for the cauliflower cheese.

EDIT: I forgot to mention these pies were insanely hot, and I mean hot! I have no skin left on my tongue at all, that’ll teach me to be so greedy eh!!

Test from Blogaway for Android

Just testing some new software on the Android device called Blogaway.

Today The Audi Arrived!

Today was the day the Audi A3 finally arrived, I’ve been waiting really since December to sort out the car. The order with Audi took since March this year, so in total about 6 months.

Here are a couple of pictures for anyone interested, its a real shame that today was the worst days weather this week so it was a bit of a damp squib getting a cabriolet on a day like today!

I will post my initial findings on the car in a few days, as I only have completed 90 miles in it today.

Operation Blighty

Now here is a story to warm the hearts and minds for the Anglo-Francais relations, you could argue that this was my own doing but I beg to differ….

Before departing in France I had a cursory glance at my front tyres to check the tread depth on them, and in my opinion they looked ok to me. Well by the time I had driven halfway across France to avoid paying tolls on the Autoroute, the situation was a different story!

So luckily I had brought my FJ phone with me and used www.saynoto0870.com to find a real number for the leasing company. On speaking to them it transpired that there was infact a Leaseplan throughout Europe and that getting the tyres should not be an issue. I was given the number for Leaseplan in France and told to give it to the person in Speedy Tyres (Kwik Fit).

So I rocked upto the tyre centre with the number and was met with instant hostility! The manager was being a prick to be honest, he refused to even look at the number I had let alone ring it, saying “Je mon fou” which means quite rudely I dont care.

Now it shouldn’t come as a shock that you need every frigging bit of paperwork for the car under the sun to change tyres in France, but it did! The prick was still going on about this Carte Gris, I kept saying it don’t bloody exist in England and you dont need any paperwork to change two bloody tyres!

This is when it descending into a lot of hand waving and head shaking from both of us! Then I remembered my Vehicle On Hire Certificate back in the flat, I returned to get it.

The man was over the moon at some form of paperwork being returned, almost dancing around in excitement! All this was short lived as he had already explained he didn’t know English at all, and guess what the form was in English.

So after several face saving taps on the keyboard trying random values off the form he telephoned Speedy HQ in Paris, not Leaseplan as he should have done. Speedy’s response was to order the tyres and charge me for them!

I explained that I would do nothing of the sort, and that I would return to get the tyres fitted without a single euro leaving my pocket!

The garage manager did not share my belief…. we shall see I thought! Anyway it was going to take two bloody days to get the tyres in the first place.

During those two days I made many calls back to the UK, and finally to Francois in Leaseplan France '(well Catherines Mum did!), and finally I returned to the garage to get two lovely Pirelli 235/40/R18 95Y tyres fitted @ 178 Euros a piece!

Matey in the garage was well and truly eating that dish best served cold, humble pie!

Big thanks to Emma Croft at Leaseplan for helping to sort this out.

Emma’s New Haircut

Emma had a new haircut today, and looks pretty snazzy with it! Her hair was about 6 inches longer than this before the photo was taken.

Here she is just about to go out to meet one of Catherine’s friends and her little boy.

One For Neilboy

Here is a ridiculous looking old Citroen I spotted whilst in the French town centre earlier. This is one of my most hated Citroens!!

How on earth do you change the rear wheels if you hav a flat??

The Donkey D**k

Every year without fail both myself and Emma fail to stop laughing at this ridiculous meal that Catherine persists in eating!

It reminds me and Emma of something we saw in Parc Floral, in the donkey bit.

It is in fact a French version of Black Pudding, I don't like the English one but Id rather eat the UK one than this…..

Bon appetite

A Lovely Belly Full Of Shepherds Pie

Every year during the annual pilgrimage to France I visit my dear old friend Neil for a nice bit of home cooking from his missus Grace.

By far my favourite is the Shepherds Pie that she does, its bloody lovely!

Here it is in all its glory! This was plate no.1  for me, oh and I got to take the left overs home for a meal the next day!

Neil and Grace kindly let me use their washing machine to wash some clothes as mine is broken… but thats another story!!

Samsung Galaxy S2 CAR DOCK KIT (OFFICIAL SAMSUNG)

I think the actual device is a quality item, it holds the phone really well, there is no shake etc.

But it is flawed in a major way in my opinion, and that of several others on a well known phone forum...

There is audio interference on the AUX socket on the cradle, and from the headphone socket on the phone when you have the cradle powered and charging.

The phones headphone socket is less obvious as it is significantly quieter (due to EU regulations) than the AUX socket on the cradle.

Either way it has a very annoying and constant whine which changes pitch relating to engine speed.

The unit I have is not an isolated issue, as there are other people who have the same issue. I believe it is an inherent fault with the actual device.

That said, I can't imagine a cheaper model would be any better in terms of this noise!

But I could not stand listening to Sat Nav instructions with all the "whine" in the background, especially in the gaps between instructions!

Oh and incase you are thinking, he’s a moaning old git… here’s someone else on Amazon with the same opinion!

“ Dissapointing, 28 July 2011

By

Sean Houlihane

This review is from: Samsung Vehicle Dock Kit for Galaxy S II (Electronics)

For the price, this does not do well enough. Yes it fits well, and holds the phone, with an integrated dock connector. However:
It is a push-fit corner grabbing design, and I find it almost impossible to release the phone with one hand.
The windscreen suction mount is feeble, so maybe 20% of the time rather than removing the phone, I end up with the whole thing coming un-stuck.
Dock mode on this phone is almost useless, so plan on replacing it if you think it is a good feature.
The audio-out functions, but there is a very poor electrical design - even if the charger is not plugged in, the signal picks up a constant high pitched whine (even with the car engine off)
Buy a cheaper one, and you'll feel less hard done by. “

My Android Desktop

Ok so lots of people in the office are always asking what is running on my Android desktop, so I was asked to update my blog with some screenshots, listing the applications used.

Ok firstly I am running all of this on a Samsung Galaxy S2, running Android 2.3.4 as the OS.

The background is a stock Samsung wallpaper, which is hidden by default in the ROM. You will need to root your phone and put a new ROM on to access this potentially.

I am currently running Cognition v1.15, which you can obtain from the fantastic XDA Developers forum here

The first row widget is Switchpro, available from the marketplace. I am running in a Size 4 configuration with Wifi - Bluetooth - GPS - Sync - Airplane - Data - Sound - Reboot as the options.

The 2nd row is Traffic Counter, an app which monitors not just your data connection but also your SMS, Wifi and voice calls too. You setup your contracts limits and it will keep track of them for you, warning you when near to exceeding them. It is all customisable, alerting you at whatever % you wish to choose.

The 3rd row is the excellent Snowstorm weather application. I find it to be just so reliable, and it takes up a small footprint. Touch the widget and you get a very detailed weather forecast for the week ahead.

The 4th row (which looks like 2 rows) is called More Icon Widgets. This is a must have application that allows you to have 4 icons in the space of 1. This is a superb app!! Just buy it!

The bottom row is a few standard icons.

The launcher bar at the bottom is Go Launcher EX, for which I customised the icons using a theme.

Go Launcher is my prefered Android Launcher, it is free of charge and just brilliant. It is regulary updated, and works well with GO SMS too.

I actually bought LauncherPro, but have since become a big fan of this launcher.

Look out for a list of my apps in the next post.......

Remote Web Desktop Beta

Ok, so when I am work I have the age old problem of having my phone sat right next to my laptop, and I often think its a pain in the arse having to type on the screen on a phone when you could do it via a laptop (like the good old days of Nokia Suite).

Well now you can have that access and more using Remote Web Desktop by SmartDog Studio on the Android platform.

The software is supported on all Android versions and has the following features

Access your SMS messages, allowing you to reply/delete/create new messages, all in a web browser interface

File Explorer can be used to transfer files to and from the phone, even using "drag and drop" if you have a HTML5 compatible browser.

Use the built in FTP to provide a transfer mechanism if required.

Remote control your android device within your computer. Including mouse & keyboard emulation.

Use your PC keyboard to write on your phone using "Wifi Keyboard"

Android 2.2+ can use the camera on the phone as a webcam.

Rooted phones can take screenshots of the device.

There is a shared clipboard between the PC and device.

SSL HTTP: provides 512 bits RSA encrypt to ensure security of your information during connections

Network Bridge mode supports all internet connections (2G/3G/WiFi)

New features are in progress, such as the management of the phone contacts, others also are in the pipeline.

For a few pounds, this app is worth every penny. Check out the reviews on the Android Marketplace for this app.

If you have an Android phone and want remote access via a PC/Laptop then get the app.

You wont be dissapointed.

The Hare and Hounds

I am at the pub,  having lunch.  So I thought I'd do a quick review.

Now I live in Bristol, so to come here is going 20 miles and 45 minutes out of the way.

That in itself explains how good the food is here.

The pictures show the beef burger with home made chips.  Simply delicious!

There is a vast selection of real ales too,  for which they have won awards.

The staff are very friendly and service is excellent.

So if you are anywhere near Corsham and feel thirsty or peckish,  then stop off at The Hare and Hounds!  You won't be disappointed!

Lyme Regis Fishing Trip Video………… Now Online!

At long last the Lyme Fishing video (about 12 minutes or so) is online on YouTube.

For fishing at Lyme Regis we normally go prepared with the following equipment.

• 12ft/15ft beachcasters
• Spinning Rod
• 20lb main line
• Fixed Spools
• Bass Lures
• Lugworm
• Ragworm
• Squid
• 4oz lead breakaways
• Sea Floats

The fish that can be caught here from our experience are

• Whiting
• Pouting
• Codling
• Ling
• Mullet
• Eel

Remember it is available in 720p!

Goto the March 2011 section for the video!

Oh BTW the black footage at the end with snoring is Neil, hilarious! I couldn’t wake him even with my headlight in his face!

Pylon Fishing

It was ridiculously windy, but we had an opportunity to fish somewhere different today.

The electricity pylon in the Severn Estuary on the English side of the coast.

It was only a 12m tide, but with the wind it made it near darn impossible to get any weights on the bottom.

Nobody caught anything, the wind was just too crazy!

I lost my old faithful Nike hat in a gust of wind, up in the air into the sea

Here’s the video and pictures from the day. (Dont forget the video is in 720p if you want it).

Kenny goes for it!

At Last!

Managed to swap my Blog account from Hotmail to Gmail. Now I can use the android app to update it.

New Landmann Gas BBQ (First Use)

New gas BBQ first trial

Worse Things Happen At Sea! The Video Footage

A short montage of video shot on the evening. Some audio has been removed deliberately (office politics was the topic removed)

The fun begins…

Worse Things Happen At Sea!

We headed off fishing to our secret location today, with one thing in mind, will the water come over the top!

There were a few people already fishing in the location, two of which had us in stitches. The most ridiculous homemade rod stand (pictured below), and using 3oz river weights in the Severn Estuary! Dear oh dear, ill prepared or what!

Dave T caught fish tonight, although for the life of me I can’t remember how many (at least one!). I even caught a cod to increase the lead on Neil who got… no fish again

Above: The sun sets… The ridiculous rod stand…. Dave and Neil in deep discussion (not about fishing though)

Above: Dave tests out his refuge if the water came over the top!…….  My codling that I didn’t know was on my line!

Above: Dave’s catch of the evening

Above: The location starts to disappear under water….

Above: Water is everywhere now and rushing into the pier at a rate of knots…. time to bloody leg it!

Above: Neil smiling as we reach the safety at the start of the pier! We had just walked about 200m in pitch black up to the knees in water with me at the front feeling the way along the path with my rod and rod rest! It was an adrenalin pumping experience! One not to be repeated!

They Say A Picture Paints a 1000 Words

I will let the pictures do the talking, rather amusing incident yesterday in the staff restaurant (well canteen!).

The corner gods did not favour me today, i got a massive corner piece. Well when I say massive, I mean the corner bit of pastry!

Check out the next photo showing the scale of the actual pie I had! If I had not gone back for my Welsh comrade I would have had a middle piece… leave no man behind… hmmmmm

But little did I know that my greed would have saved me from having to chew through some of the gristliest meat yet seen chez Atlas House!

Jeff had a nice little pile he’d gracefully removed from mastication attempts, now where’s that Dolly when you need her eh Jeff!!

So the moral is…

Being a greedy bugger and gloating about getting a middle piece when its “steak” on the pie name does not always mean you’ll be better off! For I was quite full after eating my tiny bits of beef and massive lump of pastry!

Audi A3–What to do!

My current Mondeo (which was the inspiration for this blog site to commence) is overdue for replacement. It was supposed to be replaced at 70,000 miles or 3 years, well it is way past on both counts there!

My speedo, thanks to the wondrous reliability of the Convers+ system is currently on 34,000 miles. Ok, it’s not 70,000 miles you say! But then it doesn’t take into consideration the 60,000 or so I had on the clock before the Ford dealer changed the bloody central console. So the total, which to be fair is possibly 1000 out either way, is about 96,000 now.

Anyway the car I am interested in replacing it with is the Audi A3 S-Line Cabriolet.

I had a test drive for a week in the Sport model of the Cabriolet, it was awesome!

You can check out some footage on YouTube if you feel so inclined…

In Membury Services…

My main man John M on the video cam… nice 360 action

So the issue I have is that the car is quite expensive and a bit of a tax burden.

It’s £28,000 base price, which on my car allowance will cost me £27 a month out of my salary. This is fine as my Mondeo is much worse for Co2 emissions and therefore costs more on the old tax. So the A3 is well offset by the money saved by the Co2 being so low on the Audi (119 for the record).

But I want to add some options (as you do), which pushes the price up somewhat!

That said, it’s not the end of the world…. but… thanks to income tax changes, NI increases and my company final salary pension changing to a new scheme I am now £100 a month worse off in my take home pay!

So I need to choose wisely…. as I am stuck with it for 2 years minimum.

So these are the options that I wanted originally, the ones in BLUE are the ones I am proposing to get.

• Sound Pack (Symphony CD/Radio, iPod dock, BOSE Premium Sound System)
• Storage Pack
• Comfort Pack (Lights/Dimming Mirror/Cruise Control/Rear Parking Sensor/Auto Wipers)
• Tyre Pressure
• Folding Door Mirrors
• Hi-Beam Assist
• Xenon Headlight
• Bluetooth
• Reversible Boot Mat
• Front Parking Sensor

Well there you have it… I need to study costs and think ahead. This is the car I want, I haven’t got a second choice car (well apart from the Audi A3 Sportback Black Edition).

Interesting Thought

Ok so at breakfast recently we got about to talking about the ridiculous world we live in, where only white hetrosexual men are allowed to be made fun of.

This led on to me bringing up France’s stance on the bhurka, not allowed in public (well from what I heard on the news).

So the question was raised, if caught by a speed camera in this country, in that get up, how could you tell who was driving by photographic evidence?

Well, our outspoken, grey haired, welsh diplomat had a cracking idea….

Put a number above the slit that can be seen on camera!

Hilarious I thought at first, but then soon thought, he had a good point. How would you know!

So then I am thinking, you will fail an M.O.T in the UK if you have an air freshener hanging off your rear view mirror. But for religious reasons its fine to hang beads and sword replicas off of it (not sure what religion that is).

What gives with this bullshit, it’s fucking ridiculous. We should stop bending over backwards to stop offending! One rule for all, leave the magic trees alone!!

 

Lovely Day In Lyme Regis–The Fish Were On Holiday Though!

We all headed down for a well deserved and full days fishing in Lyme Regis, Dorset. Our favourite spot at the Harbour Wall was free to take as usual, as its not really a great place to catch massive impressive fish.

But for us, its relatively easy to get to, has great amenities (with Herbie’s being amongst my favourite reason!). The parking is only £1.40 for all day/night, so lets face it you can’t do much better!

Ok, so the weather was fantastic today, the sea was so clear it was untrue. We have never seen it so clear, you could see the bottom, and even your own weight and bait if you cast close enough to the wall.

Of course the other thing that you could see was the fact there were no friggin fish!

Now, I am a lazy bugger when fishing (unlike Dave Thurlow who never rests!), and my record for getting a rod in the water is measured in over 60 minutes, but today I beat it and then some! I don’t think I got a rod in the water until some two to three hours after arriving!

Of course, all during this time I had equalled the results of my mates Dave and Neil, so win win as far as I was concerned. Me and Neil on our journey down had discussed how long it would take before Dave started moaning about the fact there was no fish and that he wished he was back at work. I can’t remember what we chose, but it was over three hours in reality! Which is a record I think for Dave, normally its much earlier.

Dave was unlucky and caught the 6 in shoal rule for Pouting, plus one Ling of somekind (see below). In fairness he caught a total of 11 fish that evening, but only 7 counted.

I managed 1 codling, but it was enough to increase my lead on Neil by another one, which wasn’t hard as he was already on zero! To summarise his score for the evening it was… nothing.

At one point he fell asleep on the harbour wall, in the dark! He was snoring like a pig, which I believe hampered our fishing for the evening by frightening away our potential catches….

Dave 7 fish (6 pouting, 1 ling)

Duncan 1 fish (1 codling)

Neil blanked again!